so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
