dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
