so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize