Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
