Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
