so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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