I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
