Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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