You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
