I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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