I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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