He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
