you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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