After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
