First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
is it fun? or sober?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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