Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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