My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
