OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize