gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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