Quick, to the slutcave!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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