there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
