worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
