I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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