Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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