best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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