You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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