I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize