Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
