Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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