She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
