you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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