Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
