whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
