Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
