Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
