If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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