your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
