I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
