Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
