You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
