I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The beer is more important than you right now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
