my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
