Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wear drunk well.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
