I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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