Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
