how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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