But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
