ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
