my sisters under your porch take her home
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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