He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
