so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
