At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
