So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
3pm strippers are depressing
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
