I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
