the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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