my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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