Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
