hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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