Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize