It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
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Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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